


Masquerade

by lithelle, NoLongerBunny



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Actual Phantom Thieves AU, Goro isn't actually a murderer maybe, M/M, No Metaverse AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-15 18:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13619367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lithelle/pseuds/lithelle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoLongerBunny/pseuds/NoLongerBunny
Summary: In a world without the Metaverse where the infamous Phantom Thieves of Hearts are still at large, Tokyo's prized Detective Prince Goro Akechi is smarter than he looks and stupider than he thinks.alternate summary: [ *sailor moon dub voice* ] he is a phantom thief i don't believe it





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, we're back, please have fun on this wild ride with us! :3c

It was quite the spectacle.

Always was, really, with nobody really checking what the police department spent their obnoxiously extravagant budget allocations on so long as they achieved the expected number of arrests and convictions by the end of the year — regardless of whether the perps were actually guilty or not.

Goro huffed a sigh to no one in particular and leaned against the marbled wall of the ballroom that served as the opulent location of this year’s end-of-fiscal gala. The theme was “masquerade,” which suited Detective Akechi just fine since he didn’t really want to be there anyway.

The notorious, self-proclaimed Phantom Thieves of Hearts were still at large — which really should have been a more pressing issue than a mere _party_ — but it had actually been quite a successful year otherwise so the department had pulled out all the stops and insisted everyone attend.

He raised a hand to smooth his hair further over his mask — an embarrassingly garish thing, bright red with a long beak like a crow. It’d been the last one at the costume shop this morning, yet Goro found he didn’t mind it and in fact thought it somehow suited him. Not that it mattered; the point was that with identities hidden behind a mask, members of the force would be more willing to socialize and, perhaps more scandalously, even enjoy themselves.

A point that really was lost when, if hair style or body type weren’t enough to begin with, a flick of the wrist, the lilt in one’s voice, the swing of their hips were enough for Goro to instantly identify which coworker he was having the displeasure of speaking to at any given moment during this awful farce.

He was unsure whether to count his blessings when the only coworker he could actually stand inevitably approached him, her gray hair done up in a fishtail braid that perfectly complimented the pattern on her silver and black mask. A classic choice, professional as always even when not technically working.

“You look lovely as always, Miss Sae.”

She scoffed and crossed her arms just-so; definitely Sae-san. “Isn’t the point supposed to be that we don’t know each other’s identities, Akechi-kun?”

“You certainly seem to know mine,” he quipped, a plastic smile that served as his own trademark forming beneath his mask with ease. Goro wore a mask every day of his life, really; this was no different.

“Well, anyway. I just came to tell you, _try_ to enjoy yourself? The Thieves can wait one night.”

Goro shrugged noncommittally, smile still fixed in place. She wasn’t wrong, of course, but that didn’t mean he had to enjoy each moment an entire group that posed a hindrance to his larger ambitions continued to run free.

“You’re here anyway, don’t just stick to the wall like a bug all night. Dance with someone.”

“With you, perhaps?”

“With _anyone_ but me.” Sae-san rolled her eyes, but offered a wry smile and clapped a hand lightly on his shoulder before gliding towards the dance floor with the same power and grace she carried with her in the courtroom. Neither of them could really get away from work, after all.

Goro sighed again, surveying the crowd as a new song started up. A waltz; step one two, step one two. He knew the theory, of course; he needed to be familiar with most things to maintain his popularity both on television and in the office. But that didn’t mean —

“You’re really not enjoying this, are you?”

“…Excuse me?”

He blinked, tilting his head towards the source of the voice. A boy with a fluffy mop of black hair who also appeared to be about his age (strange) leaned up against the wall beside him, dressed in all black except for red gloves and a pointed white mask. Something he couldn’t quite place seemed familiar about him, as if this boy had ghosted through Goro’s mind before. But when, and where?

“You’ve been sighing a lot.” The boy turned to look at him, an unreadable smirk tugging at his lips. “I suppose you don’t care to dance?”

It surprised Goro; not only had he not noticed the boy’s presence, he couldn’t identify him immediately. That mystery itself would be intriguing to any Ace Detective, but now he was inviting him to dance like some kind of gentleman.

Sae-san _had_ said _anyone._

“And what would you say if I cared to?”

The mask obscured his expression, but he thought he saw the boys eye’s crinkling with mirth underneath. A gloved hand was held out toward him.

“I’d say, shall we?”

Goro allowed the boy to take his hand, his grip warm, and lead him out to the dance floor. He was no closer to determining the identify of the other boy, but they fell into the steps of the waltz as naturally as if they’d known each other for quite some time. It was strange, usually Goro found interacting with other people tiring or stressful, a means to an end. This was the first time he’d felt so comfortable in the presence of another.

“Have we met somewhere before?” Goro couldn’t help the question, distracted by the feeling of a hand resting on his lower back.

“Perhaps. I feel as though I’d remember someone like you though.”

“Is that right? I’m hardly notable.”

Those gloved hands guided him into a spin and then a dip, Goro letting the movements carry him away to a place where his work didn’t exist. The boy’s mask pressed against his own, so close he could feel the other’s warmth.

“I’m taking note of you.”

Struck momentarily speechless by something underlying the low tone, Goro allowed himself to be pulled back into the waltz pattern as he hoped his mask was large enough to cover what was certainly a blush staining his cheeks.

"Red's a good look on you." Ah. So he had noticed.

"P-pardon?"

"Your mask." Whirling and spinning, the boy took advantage of a fancier step in the dance to raise a red gloved and flutter his fingers playfully before lacing their fingers together again. It sent far too much warmth coiling up Goro's arm to have the mystery boy's hand in his again.

"It also happens to be my favorite color."

So... perhaps he hadn't noticed, then? "Ah. What a coincidence."

This boy was confusing, but certainly not unpleasant, and Goro allowed himself a small smile as he glanced away in feigned nonchalance.

"A coincidence indeed, Detective."

Goro's gaze snapped back to the boy in front of him, ignoring the way his head pounded simply from reeling against the momentum of their movements. "How did you know I was a Detective?"

The boy chuckled lightly, smiling as he closed the distance between them again in time with the song. "Lucky guess."

They stepped and turned, and the boy seemed to pause as if considering his next words carefully.

"It is a law enforcement gala, after all," he teased, challenging that it wouldn't take a _Detective_ to deduce Goro's position from the limited options of careers represented tonight.

Goro huffed in mock irritation, but this banter was surprisingly enjoyable. This boy was quickly becoming insufferable, but Goro found he didn't dislike it.

It was a refreshing challenge, not knowing what his conversation partner would say next before the words tumbled clumsily from their mouth. Quite the opposite, this boy was suave and debonair as if attempting to personify the famed phantom thief of legend, Arsene Lupin himself. And wasn't that something —

"You're sure we haven't met?"

The boy only smiled, and rather smugly, too. Anonymity be damned, it sparked something that only made Goro want to press him more, to unravel the mystery of this stranger.

"What division did you say you worked in?" He asked politely, eyes narrowed behind his mask.

"I didn't." He spun Goro again, and it finally registered how he was allowing himself to be led in more ways than one as the tempo of the song picked up.

"And — "

There was one other thing Goro knew about dancing. While it was pure etiquette for the lead to look into the eyes of his partner for a dip, that partner was only to return the gaze if they also returned that interest. Goro knew this, but far too quickly the song flourished into a finale and the boy once again had him dipped so low their masks touched. He could see the intense steel of the eyes behind the mask so clearly for the first time, could see something almost dangerous flash across them.

"What did you say your name was?" he finished in a whisper, heart in his throat. He scarcely dared to breathe lest that give even more away.

They were both slightly flushed now from the dance, and the alluring way the corners of the boy's lips quirked up at the question was downright criminal. Goro found he couldn't tear his eyes away.

"I didn't. It’s a masquerade after all.”

The song ended and the mysterious boy executed an elaborate bow. It had an air of finality about it, but Goro wasn’t quite ready to let the moment end just yet. He hadn’t had this much fun in ages.

He held out his hand, pleased with the way the other boy paused. Maybe he was able to knock even such confidence off guard.

“I believe it’s my turn now?”

A beat where Goro feared he’d read the other wrong, smoothed instantly when the boy stepped forward and leaned down, pressing a kiss to the hand he grasped once more.

“If you think you can handle me.”

The things he could handle would no doubt shock the boy, Goro thought grimly as the next song started up and he pulled the other in close. A slower song this time.

“You’d be surprised at how much I can take.”

The chest he was pressed up close to trembled with laughter.

“You’re very confident.”

Goro allowed a pleased smile to cross his lips. Even though it was hard to juggle what was basically a double life, he was proud of everything he’d accomplished so far.

“In this line of work, you have to be. No good comes from self-doubt.”

“Especially if you’re working toward something you believe in.”

No truer words had been spoken.

“And what do you believe in?”

Goro felt gloved hands tighten their grip around his own.

“Freedom.”

The room plunged into darkness.

Cries and mutters of surprise echoed throughout the ballroom, layering upon each other so loudly that Goro nearly missed the smooth "Thanks for the dance, Mister Detective." A quiet whisper in his ear, immediately preceding the soft brush of what Goro deduced could only be the mystery boy's soft lips against his cheek. He had no business being that soft, and _Goro_ had no business being so soft that a play at tenderness from a complete (but admittedly very fun) stranger suddenly made him feel like he was melting.

He wanted to blame the sudden darkness for heightening too many senses, but if not for that he wouldn't have caught the crackle of what must have been an intercom hidden beneath the lapel of Mystery Boy's jacket.

"—so extra, Joker, could you be any more reckless—"

Joker.

Naturally as breathing, a flurry of casefiles shuffled through his mind, clues of the past few minutes slotting into place and double life momentarily forgotten. One of the only clues they'd managed to pick up on the Phantom Thieves so far was that their leader went by the Pseudonym of Joker.

"Wait—!"

Goro was reaching out before he even realized what he was doing, hand closing around the boy's wrist like a vice, not about to let a chance like this get away. It gave him smug satisfaction that it seemed to surprise "Joker," too.

"What are you—" Joker fumbled, before huffing a low laugh and twisting his wrist to easily take Goro's hand in his. "Miss me already, Detective?"

And suddenly, this Joker was sprinting breakneck up the nearest stairwell; fingers laced as they were Goro had no choice but to follow. He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the safety lights in the staff-only corridor, marveling at the lithe agility of the boy in front of him even as he mentally ran down the checklist of data on this case.

Ah. So his deductions had been spot on, and that's why Mystery Boy seemed so familiar. It would be a disappointingly anticlimactic end to the Leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, but he could cuff and capture the criminal right here before they even reached the next landing.

That is — if he'd had his handcuffs on him. Which he didn't, because everyone had insisted that this was a _party_ and absolutely no _work_ was to be done.

He groaned. Despite Sae-san's badgering, of _course_ the Thieves couldn't wait one night.

This thief, of course, chose that exact moment to spin on his heel, offering a quick wink as he released Goro's hand. "Wait right there, Mister Detective. Unless you want your colleagues to think you're an accomplice."

Goro blinked in surprise, and that was all the time Joker needed to escape his reach. It was... an oddly gentlemanly thing to consider, for a criminal. Still a criminal, however, so of course Goro would have to pursue. The moment he reached the top of the stairs, though, he could only shield his eyes from the spotlight illuminating where Joker stood atop a banister that overlooked the ballroom below. In fact, spotlights were aimed at several people in the crowd, each speaking up in turn.

"Law enforcement of Tokyo."

"You call yourself a police force protecting the peace?" 

"Your corrupt laundering and extortion serves only to grow your own greed!"

"You assholes are frauds!"

"Caring only about your own extravagance is no way to serve the public."

"You'll convict even the innocent if it'll feed your own wealth!"

"It's time for this corrupt organization to have a change of heart."

Finally the mystery boy — _Joker,_ their leader — addressed the room below, voice booming with adrenaline and confidence.

"The Phantom Thieves of Hearts will prove to you what it really means to protect people's freedom!"

Before anyone could react, the room exploded. At first Goro thought the Phantom Thieves had somehow been crazy enough to use actual explosives in a police gathering, until he realized the debris raining down on top of everyone wasn’t the ceiling but in fact millions of paper cards.  He plucked one out of the air and saw the Thieves’ signature logo embossed on a red and black background.

Knowing it was futile, Goro made a run for place he’d last seen the leader, ducking around people panicking and generally making fools of themselves in the commotion.  Wasn’t this supposed to be a gathering of the people most able to protect the community?  They were acting like they couldn’t even protect themselves.

The leader was long gone by the time he got there, but it seemed Sae had the same idea he had. They exchange a look of mutual defeat.

“This is a disaster.”  

She was shaking her head, her mask long gone.  Goro pushed his on top of his head to get a better visual.

“It was certainly unexpected.”

“How embarrassing. How could we have been so unprepared for something like this?  Reporters were here. This is going to be all over the news.”

“That’s probably what the Phantom Thieves were after.”

Sae frowned. Goro knew she disagreed with many of the spending decisions of the police force.

He took a look at the card he was still holding. It was well made. Something like this had to have come from a professional printing company.  Maybe he could try to track the order and find the person who made it. Either way, it meant the same thing. More paperwork.

“I suppose a night off was too good to be true.”

Later, after Goro had discussed the matter with various people of importance, and also been both scolded and given more work in equal measures, he was definitely ready to call it a night. However, when he took of his coat, a stray piece of paper fell out.

Thinking it was just another card from the nights festivities, he ignored it while he got ready for bed. It was only when he returned to clean it up and throw it away did he realize it wasn’t like the other cards at all. It was blank, except for a phone number accompanied by a small message in the corner.

_Call me._ _♡_

Goro almost choked at the sight, bringing a fist to his chest to help stifle a coughing fit. It was absurd. Who did this Mystery Boy think he was? Sharing a chaste dance, and now this — did he think he was some kind of smooth don juan and not a wanted criminal?

The detective scoffed. He should throw the card away — no, actually, he should keep it, file it in a report amongst all the other paperwork on this case, call for backup and arrest the vagabond like his real, proper, correct-side-of-the-law job dictated. He placed it decidedly on his bedside table next to his phone so he would remember it in the morning before entombing himself in his sheets and pointedly pinching his eyes shut.

It took about two minutes and thirty seven seconds before Goro was upright in bed, dialing the number and hitting send before he even realized what he was doing.

There was a low chuckle on the other end, and Goro pretended not to notice the way his heart thrilled at the sound in his ear. “‘Bout time you called, Mister Detective.”

“Is that how you would have answered if I hadn’t been the one to call?”

“A risk I was willing to take.”

“And you’re all about risks, aren’t you? Joker of the Phantom Thieves,” Goro huffed in irritation that was definitely genuine and not at all feigned. Definitely. “I must admit it was quite a surprise to discover the identity of my dance partner for the evening was their most sought-after Leader.”

He drew his knees to his chest, considering his next words. “Well done.”

“I hope I showed you a good time.” Joker didn’t miss a beat.

“Yes, a lovely evening right up until involving myself and my colleagues in petty crime and accusations of embezzlement.”

He heard the click of a tongue on the other line, and could almost see the boy pouting. “Come now Mister Detective, you and I both know that department deserves it, or we wouldn’t have targeted them.”

Them, not you. Even though Goro too was technically a member of Tokyo’s finest, a fact the leader of these thieving vigilantes not only knew well but apparently refused to let go. Did he think there was something he could possibly prove to Goro?

“That’s beside the point, and doesn’t mean you and yours get to be beside the law.”

“Then next time, allow me to prove our Justice to you.”

Goro cocked an eyebrow, the absurdity of it making him laugh in spite of himself. “Next time? What makes you think I’d give you the chance over arresting you on the spot? You’re wanted for an impressive laundry list of crimes, you know.”

“For one simple reason, Mister Detective — I’d first like to ask you on a date.”

Goro paused, blinking rapidly has he held the phone stupidly in front of him like it had begun to mutate. His heart was hammering in his throat almost painfully as he tried to process what this wanted thief had just proposed to the lead detective on his own case. His thoughts clouded with memories of those daring eyes, that mischievous smile, the warmth of a red gloved hand in his just hours ago — it was several beats before he could find his voice again.

When he did, Goro wasn’t sure if he was speaking to himself or the Phantom Thief of Hearts on the other line. “You’re _insane!”_

“That wasn’t a no.”

“Even with your claims of wanting to prove your justice to me, what’s to stop me from arresting you the minute we’re to meet up? This is pretty reckless even for someone like you.”

He hated how the sound of the low chuckle across phone lines made his heart start to race.

“Are you worried about me, Mister Detective?”

Joker’s attitude toward this whole thing made Goro growl involuntarily.

“Clearly someone should be.”

“Anyway, I’m not worried. I have a good feeling about this.”

It was becoming harder and harder to believe someone like this was able to evade the police for so long. It was like he had no instinct for self preservation.

“I think my earlier assessment was correct. You are insane.”

The silence at the other end of the line had an air of anticipation. Joker was waiting for his answer. Goro stroked a finger down the side of the card he’d been secretly given and thought about sparkling eyes hidden by a mask. There was only one answer he could give. If he believed in such things, he might call it fate.

“Yes.”

Ever since he was a child, it’d been drummed into him that fate was cruel, especially to unwanted people like him. If he wanted anything at all in this world, he had to rip it out with his own two hands. Regardless of the consequences.

Joker’s laugh at the other end of the line sounded like a gift.

“Meet me at Yoyogi Park at 8pm tomorrow night. Wear something nice.”

Goro kept the phone held against his ear until he heard the dial tone. Almost mechanically he put it back down on his bedside table and laid back into bed. He closed his eyes.

What should he wear for his first date?


	2. Chapter 2

Goro thought (hoped, anyway) he cut quite a handsome image as he strolled out of the train station two stops too early.

Most of the clothes he owned were well-fitted and professional — had to be, for his line of work — so there was no trouble there. He _had_ read about the importance of casually comfortable first dates, though; if they were meeting in Yoyogi Park even in the evening, he didn't want to be _over_ -dressed. A far cry from the fancy niceties of the masquerade ball, but still sharp and appealing, Goro had curated an ensemble of black slacks and wing-tips, a simple button up, and a dark blue cardigan. It'd pained him not to finish off with his usual striped tie, but instead he'd neatly tied his hair back. Yoyogi park was a very public place, afterall, and perhaps the change of style would deter any prying eyes from fans or colleagues from looking twice.

And really, he should _be at Yoyogi Park_ , scouting the area and making a plan for how to ensnare his (admittedly very charming) prey. But here he was two stops too early in front of the door to Leblanc, a cafe with the finest coffee he'd tried in Tokyo and the blissful privacy of a very aloof owner. He definitely wasn't nervous for this 'date,' not at all, but — a cup of coffee never hurt.

"The usual plea—" With the door swung wide and half a step into his favorite haven of a coffee shop, the last thing Goro expected was to come face to face with _Joker._

...No, not Joker. But a boy who looked remarkably like him, his surprised look obscured by the same fluffy hair and a pair of glasses that framed his face like a mask. Sakura-san must have hired a part timer, Goro thought, as the boy quickly cleared his throat and stored the cloth he'd been wiping down the counter with.

"Sure thing. Sit anywhere you like."

Goro slid into his usual spot at the bar, eyeing the barista's deft fingers as he ground fresh coffee beans. Probably not Joker; it wasn't that this boy lacked his own assured confidence, but he certainly didn't seem to carry the same flamboyant airs of theatrics that his dance partner from last night had.

"Here you go. Lookin' pretty sharp, you got a date?"

Goro had already brought the cup to his lips and almost choked at the question; apparently Sakura-san hadn't yet taught his new employee the importance of a customer's solitude. In fact, the barista pressed on even as he busied himself with more cleaning.

Goro plastered his usual mask of a smile on his face and chuckled politely. So much for a moment of quiet to calm his nerves. "Is it that obvious?"

"I've got a date today too, actually," the boy chuckled. Lowly. "Hopefully Sakura-san lets me off in time to get ready."

"Sakura-san does seem like he drives a hard bargain, but he's not unkind." Goro narrowed his eyes at the barista as he finished wiping a mug. "Quite the coincidence."

The barista straightened up, a lazy smile playing at his lips as the corners of his eyes crinkled. Goro momentarily wondered where he'd gone wrong in his life to be faced with two charmers in the span of twenty four hours. "A coincidence indeed."

No, perhaps just one. It would be too convenient if this boy was actually Joker, but he was so familiar—

"So, is he cute?"

This time Goro actually did choke on his coffee. "P-Pardon? I don't believe I ever specified—"

"O-or she!" The barista rushed a hand up to fiddle with a lock of his hair, suddenly looking nervous and sheepish and distinctly un-Joker-like. Perhaps not, then.

Ah. Goro blinked, suddenly realizing just how quickly the correction had tumbled out of the boy's mouth. "What about you? Is _he_ cute?"

The barista froze a moment, before slowly leaning on the bar to look Goro dead-on with an expression wholly unreadable. It made Goro want to squirm, like he was being scrutinized under a microscope, but he maintained polite composure anyway as the boy opened his mouth to answer.

"Very."

It was absurd the way his cheeks were warming over a compliment that was clearly for someone else.

“But you’re pretty cute yourself.”

He ducked his head, hoping his hair would hide the blush creeping across the bridge of his nose.

“Y-You’re too kind.” Horrified at his stammering over such a small compliment, he took a sip of his coffee to regain his composure. Before he could formulate more of a reply to break the silence, the front door opened once more, drawing the attention of the barista immediately.

“Alright kid, you’re free to go.”

Goro smiled at the way the barista’s face lit up as Sakura-san walked behind the counter to relieve him, and picked up his cup again. There was still a bit of time before he was supposed to meet up with Joker, and he wanted to finish his drink.

“I hope you have a good time on your date.”

The boy paused after taking off his apron, and adjusted his glasses before answering.

“You too. Whoever you’re meeting is pretty lucky.”

He winked at him before turning around and climbing the stairs at the back. The cafe was much quieter without him as Sakura-san cleaned some cups in the sink.

Joker might be lucky enough to have evade capture for so long, but whether he caught him on this date or not, Joker wasn’t the lucky one in this scenario.

If he was going to be honest, neither of them were.

 

* * *

 

After finishing his drink and bidding Sakura-san goodbye, he reached Yoyogi park about half an hour before he was supposed to meet up with Joker.

Unfortunately, Yoyogi park was actually pretty big and on such a fine Saturday night it was also thrumming with families and fashionistas alike. A very public place for any kind of police action to go down, and if he had been hoping to learn more about the mysterious Phantom Thieves Leader's identity out in the open, the low light and number of shoppers trickling in from Harajuku meant that Joker could probably wear whatever he damn well pleased and get away with nary a second glance. Goro knew this would be the case beforehand, if he took the time to be honest for once.

He was prepared anyway, of course. He was always prepared, except for at that stupid masquerade ball which started this whole mess that he was definitely not looking forward to. He didn’t think too hard about the badge and cuffs in his pocket, or how he could call for backup anytime — catch Joker in an ambush — but had yet to so much look at his phone.

With a sigh and not much else to scout for before this 'date,' Goro leaned against a tree and settled into people-watching. What would Joker look like tonight? Would Goro recognize him, or would Joker not give him the satisfaction? Lost in thought with at the various probabilities of every disguise he could imagine, it wasn't until his phone buzzed menacingly in his pocket that he even remembered he had the damn thing. Fully expecting work hounding him even on a weekend he fished the phone out with a scowl — until he saw the time.

**JOKER: (8:00PM)** Found you, Mister Detective.

On the dot, Goro noted as he lifted himself off the tree and scanned for signs of debaucherous criminals lurking in the crowd to absolutely no avail. Petulantly he huffed and texted back.

**GORO: (8:02PM)** Funny, can't say the same. Where are you?

"Right here."

The sound of a playfully low voice next to his ear made him jump and whirl around and he definitely did not stumble as he raised his hands (and phone) defensively, because how the _hell_ did someone sneak past _his_ honed and trained senses!?

... _Phantom_ Thief, he reminded himself bitterly, as the sky turned to night.

Joker was wearing a very well-cut black blazer over a v-neck that showed off his collarbone a little too nicely, Goro noted only as an insignificant case detail to file away later and not at all because it made his throat go dry. His hands were tucked neatly into a dark pair of equally fitted jeans, eyes concealed by a sharp pair of sunglasses that balanced out the as yet untamed curls of that same mop of hair.

Damn. He really should have assumed.

"Well, well, so my Detective Prince is the famed Goro Akechi from TV? No introductions necessary there."

Goro scoffed, when did he become _Joker's_ prince? "I don't know why you're surprised. Although I see you've done me no such honor, Joker of the Phantom Thieves. You wear those even at night, hm?"

And there was that low chuckle again that sent an unwanted (but not unpleasant) shiver up Goro's spine. "Joker's fine, for now."

...For now? What was he expecting, for their dates to become a regular thing? (If Goro could have cold-blood strangled the... something that bubbled in his chest at the thought, he most definitely would have.)

Joker tilted his head lazily to the side and smiled. Goro decided then and there that not only were the sunglasses at night ridiculous, they were absolutely worse than the mask. At least with the mask he could try reading _something_ from those steel gray eyes.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised _you_ don't care to keep up our little masquerade, Akechi-san."

"No reason to hide my face when I'm only here to do my job, Joker," Goro quips pleasantly, TV-ready smile pointedly stretched thin across his face. "So, shall I bring you in now, or did you have something else in mind?"

A hand flew to Joker's chest in mock horror. "Mister Detective, so forward! At least take me to dinner, first."

"I thought you were the one intending to show me a good time this evening," Goro chided, a wry smile curling at his lips.

Joker barked a laugh and shrugged with his entire body in one smooth and languid motion, before dialing up the dramatics for a deep bow as if to say 'this way, monsiuer.' Goro couldn't roll his eyes hard enough if he tried.  

"You got me there." Joker straightened back up not even bothering to hide his mirth, and if the Detective didn't know any better he'd think that above that shit eating grin and beneath those ridiculously large sunglasses a bit of pink was beginning to stain the thief's cheeks.

Goro bit back a smile that would have been far too genuine this time. He had no reason to play along, really he didn't, and it definitely was not amusing or even _fun_ to volley smirks and banter back and forth with Tokyo's public enemy number one. There was definitely no way Goro expected Joker to prove that his crimes were actually just, so it would only be in everyone's best interest really to cut their losses and end the charade here. Still...

"Well, I suppose on first dates arrests _do_ typically come after such formalities." Still, he could play this game all day. Not that he would know what typically happened first on a first date anyway, but he could at least assume not jail time. "Dinner first, then."

"Aren't I lucky." The phrase gave Goro pause and it was bothersome, but he couldn't quite place why — until Joker did something so un-Joker like it made Goro completely freeze.

He reached a hand up to tug at the lock of his hair in front of his sunglasses, twirling it almost nervously over the smallest of smiles still playing at his lips. Goro would bet his badge such an action could actually be described as — self-satisfied, yes, but also _shy._

It was only for a brief moment, and before long Joker slid up beside him again easy as ever, holding out an elbow for Goro to take. As if having the Detective doggedly chasing wanted criminals such as himself hang off his arm for the night instead was the most idiotically logical thing in the world.

But in that moment he looked nothing like the flamboyant gentleman thief persona he'd performed as so far. In fact, in that moment he looked like any other idiot teenage boy genuinely giddy for a date.

Or a very specific teenage boy from a very specific coffee shop.

Goro stared at the arm proffered before him in disbelief, then back up to Joker, then back down again.

"Shall we?" Joker's voice was honey, and Goro fought the burning desire to just smack the sunglasses off that smug face and reveal all.

It _absolutely_ had to be a coincidence. ...Didn't it?

He allowed himself to be lead through the park on the arm of simultaneously the most stylish and the most ridiculous man he’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. Perhaps it wasn’t wise of him to have met someone like this completely without backup, but Goro was used to working alone. It had gotten him this far after all.

A small cafe was their destination, in a dark corner of the park. Tiny lanterns decorated the small building like fireflies, and Joker led them to a table outside overlooking a small garden, seemingly reserved for the occasion.

“You planned ahead. On such short notice?” Goro commented as he lifted the menu and peered at his companion over the top.

“I wanted to take you somewhere special.” Joker hadn’t bothered to pick up the menu. Someone like him probably already knew exactly what he wanted.

“Trying to seduce me into giving you a lighter sentence when I take you in?” Goro didn’t care much for food, but the items listed look unusually appetizing.

“Or perhaps I could persuade you to forgo taking me in at all.”

Joker was smirking at him and he could feel his heart start to beat faster.

“That would be quite a feat.”

A waitress came by to take their orders and menus, Joker knowing exactly what he wanted just as Goro suspected. Even though night had fallen a while ago, the air was still warm. As far as dating spots went, Joker had chosen one of the best.

The question was why.

“You told me you believed in freedom. Why did you risk your own to go on this date with me?”

Joker leaned his head against his hand before answering.

“The greatest rewards are gained with the highest risks. To become a Phantom Thief takes a lot of skill, but also a little bit of luck.”

A bird flew overhead, the caws strangely distant as Goro’s eyes were snared by an intense gray gaze.

“I’m a pretty lucky guy. And I have a feeling you’re worth the risk.”

Goro stifled a surprised laugh into the back of his hand as his cheeks warmed at the praise. It was absurd. “That’s awfully bold of you. And what do you plan to do when that luck runs out?”

A smirk. “Doesn’t seem like it will any time soon, considering I have the top Detective working with the SIU going out with me.”

Under the table Joker’s knees knocked against his own, and though the night air was pleasant the contact was degrees warmer even through layers of fabric. Joker had looked into him... which meant he really was interested. Or it meant there was probably something Joker wanted, just like everybody else who'd ever come to call upon his skills. Perhaps both. There was something in the tilt of Joker's smile that made Goro hesitate to decide, and that frustrated him. Everything about Joker was confounding, and Goro wanted to make sense of him.

And, feeling just a bit competitive, he wanted to see look on Joker's usually smug face when Goro proved him wrong. He imagined it'd be just as delightful as those bewitching smirks of his.

"Oh," Goro sighed, leaning forward on his elbows with his TV smile in place. "One date doesn't equate to 'going out,' I'm afraid."

Joker clicked his tongue with a snap of his fingers, as if simply implying they were dating had been worth any kind of a shot. As if it actually mattered to him beyond their ridiculous farce.

"Darn. I suppose my next stolen heart will have to be yours — Careful, my roguish charms have been known to woo." Joker teased, wagging a finger at the detective menacingly. "In fact, I think I have a 100% success rate."

"We'll see about that, I'm not easily charmed." An absolute lie if the last day and a half had anything to say about it, but Joker didn't have to know that and Goro was generally quite good at lying.

"I love challenges. Builds character," Joker volleyed back with a generic wave of his hand, and Goro had to fight the smile that played at his lips even as he rolled his eyes.

"I must admit, Joker, you have piqued my curiosity. You’re something of a puzzle — a notorious thief, criminal at-large, yet you’re not bound by any sense of danger and take risks almost instinctively, going as far as to try and 'woo' your most likely adversary.”

“Psychoanalyzing me already? So, Akechi-san: with all that, why _did_ I ask you on this date?”

Goro clamped his mouth shut, realization prickling at the back of his neck as he felt the heat bloom across his face, but he refused to avert his eyes and concede defeat. Joker's MO _had_ to be something sneaky and unlawful, impersonal and conniving. It _had_ to be, even if the evidence didn't quite support it yet. Sometimes the simplest answer was the correct one, but…

...But Joker apparently had intended to answer his own question from the start. His smile was wide, bright, cheeky — Goro was sure that if he could see the other boy’s eyes behind the sunglasses they’d be crinkled with recklessly misplaced glee.

“It’s because I think you’re cute.”

Before Goro could open his mouth to retort (because his mind absolutely had not just blanked to static anyway), the waitress chose that exact moment to return with their drinks, ice cubes clinking as she set them down. With an apologetic smile that clearly indicated she thought she was interrupting something, she promised their meals would arrive shortly before scuttling well out of harm's way. Likely because the heat radiating off Goro's face after _that_ insufferable quip was probably hazardous enough to instantly melt ice cubes and ice caps alike.

He ignored the fact that the knots tying in his stomach over such a stupidly simple statement weren't actually all that unpleasant.

Goro cleared his throat, trying to avert his gaze cooly and speak as if the thief in front of him had _not_ in fact turned out to actually be rogueishly charming. “Flattery won’t stop you from getting tried for your crimes.”

“No, but perhaps talking will.”

“You really think an evening chat over a shared meal will be enough to convince me of the right in your wrongdoing?" Goro glanced back up, eyebrow raised. Calm, professional, he willed his mask back into place. "We’ve been chasing you lot for months, now,” he concluded flatly.

Under the sunglasses, Joker’s smile stretched into a pleased grin, as the waitress came back and set their food in front of them.

“That wasn’t a compliment.” His words did nothing to dampen the obviously glee on his companions face. The food smelled heavenly.

“Sounds like you’ve been focused pretty exclusively on me.”

“We’ve been focused on the Phantom Thieves.” Goro made sure to emphasize, as he directed his attention to sampling the dish he’d chosen. It turned out Joker had excellent taste.

“As fascinating as I’m sure we are, have you tried directing that focus a little more inward?”

Goro frowned, but could already see what Joker was getting at. “You mean take a closer look at the police force?”

“You’ve been following us long enough to know all the things we’re trying to do — they’re not for attention or anything as superficial as that. They’re for a reason.”

“For freedom.” Goro toyed with the end of his fork.

“That’s certainly the overall goal.” Joker leaned across the table and stole a piece of food off Goro’s plate before he could protest.

“And you can’t just tell me?” He frowned as Joker popped the stolen morsel into his mouth and licked the tines of his fork.

“It’d be better if you discovered it for yourself.”

“And if I agree to this,” Goro eyed Joker to make sure he wasn’t about to steal any more of his food as he took another bite, “You’ll go out with me again?”

“Why Detective, are you asking me on another date so soon?”

He coughed. “If it pleases you to think so.”

“It does.”

Goro was positive a look as smug as the one Joker was gracing him with should be illegal.

The rest of the meal passed uneventfully until all too soon, they were standing outside the cafe again.

“I suppose this is where we part ways.” Joker was still smiling.

“Tell me, why shouldn’t I just arrest you right now?” He asked, not really expecting a concrete answer.

There were many reasons why Goro should probably bring Joker into custody, not just limited to his crimes and the possibility of finding all of his teammates. However, his own personal interests would be better served to let Joker go for now. There would also be another opportunity after all.

Goro had an agenda to fulfill.

“Because you think I’m cute too.” Goro swore that behind those sunglasses, Joker must have winked at him and for a moment he was at a loss for words. No one else had ever managed to surprise him like Joker constantly did.

“I suppose you can’t show up at our next date if you’re in jail.” He smiled back and found he didn't have to put as much effort into making it look real as he usually did.

Somehow, he was having a good time.

Then Joker was moving and between one blink and the next, warm lips brushed over his.

“Have a good night, Detective.”

Goro knew it was impossible for someone to vanish into thin air, but Joker managed the trick. He was left alone, blinking in the darkness.

Trust a famous thief like Joker to steal his first kiss.


End file.
